Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction

Three more weeks until November, Lily King Month, at Abby's Book Reviews!

Genre: Non-Fiction

This is the true-life story of David, a husband, father and writer. David’s son Nic, from his first wife, Vicki, is a precocious, curious and creative little boy. But his early years are marked by his parents’ contentious divorce and ultimate shared custody in two different homes; his father’s in San Francisco and then Inverness, and his mother’s in L.A. Nic went to a private high school where he played sports, joined the school newspaper and had crushes on girls. And then it happens. David finds pot in Nic’s belongings. From there, the story of Nic’s slow descent into addiction of heroin and meth spirals and so does his life. David recounts, with great detail, his son’s long absences, rehab stints and criminal behavior. In the story, David includes much of the research he has done about drug addiction and rehabilitation. This story is about a father’s deep love, and how he learns to let go of his son, when all he wants is to hold on tight.

I have a twelve-year-old son. He is a really good kid. But, he lies. They’re white lies, but lies, nonetheless. When I catch him, I punish him. I know that he lies because he is so afraid to disappoint me and his father and we have high expectations. But, dear reader, the anxiety that I feel from his lying at 12 about things like talking to his teacher about his quiz when he hasn’t, or about finishing his math homework when he hasn’t, is nothing compared to the thought that if I don’t nip this in the bud, he’ll be lying to me about much bigger and scarier things at 16 and 17. This book didn’t do much to alleviate that fear and anxiety.

I was hoping that by the end of the book Sheff would point to the specifics of what and how it all went wrong for Nic. But he doesn't. In his very beautifully written account, he recounts the events, pre and during addiction, and says that if he could do things differently he might. But, the biggest lesson I take from Sheff’s story is that our children grow up to be their own people. All we can do is guide them and hope and pray that they make the right decisions. But, here’s the key. When they don’t (because they might not), we have to let them fix their own mistakes! This is a very powerful and intense read, but very much worth it.

Also, I just found out the movie version of this book (starring Steve Carrell, Timothee Chalamet, Maura Tierny and Amy Ryan) is being release in LA and NY on October 12th, so better read the book before seeing the movie!